Swiper, NO SWIPING! (Aw maaan!)

I have a new nickname.  Mom calls me Swiper (I think it's from Dora the Explorer).  Every night around 2:30am I "clean off" mom's bedside table by swiping everything onto the hardwood floor.  I also am really good at cleaning off the dining room table and the end tables in the living room.  What can I say, I take after Grandpa (aka Mr.Clean).  I think I'm doing mom a favor but she ends up getting mad for some reason. She also has been complaining a lot because she never gets to sleep in anymore.  My insulin has to be given twice a day around 7am and 7pm...even on the weekends, Mom.  I pretty much can tell when 7am approaches, so I typically start doing a "pre-wakeup call" around 6am every day by batting at the alarm clock, trying to make it go off early.  Sometimes I get lucky and hit the button to make the radio turn on.  Other times I'm not so lucky and accidentally turn OFF the alarm, which doesn't seem to make mom very happy when it happens on weekdays.  Good thing she has an alarm set on her phone too!

Caught red-handed:

Swiper, No Swiping!!

Since I haven't really written about my health lately, I guess I'll throw that in too.  I've been going for checkups about every 10 days to see how my blood sugar is doing.  As soon as mom gets out the red leash, I'm hiding under the bed in the very middle where she can't reach me.  I hate riding in the car but once I get there it's not so bad.  The ladies LOVE me and threaten to "kitnap" me if Mom's not careful. My last trip was interesting...the doctor called mom because she wanted to tell her that my blood sugar had dropped.  Mom thought this was good news, until the doctor said it dropped to 57.  (It was in the 400s two weeks before).  It's supposed to be around 110, but if it gets too low I can start having seizures. So we're going to cut back my insulin intake a little bit and see if that evens me out.  Aside from that, I'm pretty much the same except for my walk/run and jumping abilities.  I can't really run anymore and I walk like a drunken sailor.  I have to concentrate really hard if I want to jump on the couch (the first attempt is usually unsuccessful).  My hind legs just aren't working the way they used to.  The docs aren't sure if it's neurological or diabetes related.  It could get better, get worse, or stay the same.  Time will tell. Mom worries about me but the doc assures her I'm not in pain.  I'm still my lovable, local self with a gimp walk.  

Thanks to everyone for thinking of me and the well wishes!

Love,

Swiper

Update

Well, a lot has happened since my emergency vet visit.  I got home late Tuesday night with a prescription for insulin and bethanechol.  The insulin is to control my diabetes, of course, and the bethanechol is to help me pee.   The doctors are very concerned with my full bladder and have had to manually drain my bladder with their hands (not a pleasant experience for either party).  I started my pee meds on Thursday...but let me first backtrack to Wednesday...

Wednesday.  What a day.  Mom had a busy day at work so she regretfully had to leave me unattended.  When she got home she discovered the many places I peed and pooped...none of them being in my litter box.  Had she been home a few minutes earlier, she would've caught me in the act of laying a nice steaming pile in the middle of the living room floor.  (She could tell it was recent because it was still warm).  Anyway, I cuddled on her lap for awhile and then had the sudden urge to pee.  I got up and walked to my typical spot on the couch and sat down.  Mom thought I was ONLY sitting until she heard the sound of a leaky faucet...which was of course my pee dripping down the leather couch and onto the wood floor.  She got up to clean up my mess...when she returned she found me hiding in the corner.  She figured I was pooping, but when I got up she noticed I basically peed blood.  Two minutes later I puked up my dinner.  Three minutes later I picked out another spot to bleed out, and then another a few minutes later.  Mom was immediately on the phone with the emergency vet.  The vet said "That's not normal".  No duh. She was told to check my blood sugar and monitor me closely, and to bring me in if it continues.  My blood sugar was 370 (pretty average for me lately), so mom decided to just keep me home and watch me closely.  She knows how much I hate the car. So the house is now decorated with old towels and the laundry is a continuous cycle of washing the "used" ones.

This picture shows exhibits how lethargic I was on Wed...and how Mom kept me surrounded by towels...

Let's fast forward to Thursday.  Mom had to leave me again for work but came back around 6pm.  She started me on my pee medication and continued with the insulin shots (which, by the way, I take like a champ!).  She also knew my favorite spots to pee, so she played "interception" with me all night.  This is how the game goes: I lay on the floor for awhile, get up and look at the couch that I'm about the jump up on and pee on.  Mom notices this behavior and before I jump, she scoops me up and runs me to the litter box.  I do my business and she rewards me with treats.  This happened about 18 times last night.  Only one time she missed me, and that's because my neighbor Tony came over to drop off some "get well soon" cookies (which mom greedily ate before I could get my paws on them).  I'm pretty sure that odor remover stuff doesn't work...mom washes down the couch with it every time I pee, but she's not fooling anyone!

I was really well behaved last night...I snuggled with mom in bed for a long time with no accidents (I think she really appreciated that), and only peed once on one of the towels...the other two times were in my litter box.  I may have slipped out one tiny turd onto the living room floor, but mom didn't get too upset about it so I'm not going to worry about it too much.  I'm feeling much better today...there is less and less blood in my urine (if any), my energy level is up--I'm currently stalking a cat that is wandering around my neighbor's house, and I just peed in the litter box.  Mom is working from home today and all of next week so she can keep an eye on me.  She's getting a little worried because she has two work trips back to back starting the 16th.  She needs to find someone willing to give me insulin shots and give me my meds every day.  Any volunteers?  Worse case scenario she can have me boarded, but that can be expensive AND I hate being crated.  So, she's looking for a kind soul who will take care of me...you can even stay with me at my house! And she'll pay you of course. :)

Well, I should get going and take a nap.  It took forever to type this without any thumbs and I'm exhausted.

Thanks to everyone for keeping me in your thoughts...I really hope I'm on the road to recovery!

Love,

Chuck

Emergency Vet Pics

Sorry for the delay on these pics...mom's computer is dying (hopefully that's the only thing that is).  These are from the emergency vet visit(s) on Tuesday...


I'm leaning towards getting the heck out of here.  Mom told me not to jump, but it was tempting.

They shaved my belly in order to do the ultrasound.  Good news, I'm not pregnant!

Holding mom's hand to calm my nerves...

Vet City

I'm posting this from the vet I was referred to after yesterday's and this morning's visits to my normal vet. Mom took me in yesterday because I was walking funny and not able to jump like I used to. Turns out that's the least of my worries. My bladder is way too full and I'm not peeing as much as I should (considering diabetes makes me thirsty and I drink like 2 gallons of water a day). Anyway, my normal vet manually got me to pee yesterday by sticking a catheter in me. I was so mad that I hissed at mom once they delivered me to her. That's the first time I ever hissed at her. I think she's scared of me now. :) Today was a checkup to see if my bladder was less full this morning. It wasn't. They were worried I wouldn't make it through the night so they referred me to a specialist that is going to run a bunch of fancy, expensive tests on me. Hopefully they can fix my bladder issue without needing surgery. If not, they have to take into consideration neurological problems, which means CAT scans (literally!), MRIs, etc. Right now I'm just chilling and waiting for the new vet to finish a few emergency surgeries. I'll post when I know more. Oh, and don't ask mom how she's holding up...it makes her cry. :( Pics to follow when I can get back to my computer.

It Feels Good To Be Loved

I admit I've been in a bit of a slump since I found out about the old diabetes.  My spirits were lifted today though when my mom told me what happened at work. Some of her co-workers that sit near her answer phone calls.  To identify certain callers, the caller needs to provide them with a code word.  One of the code words happened to be "kittens".  Whenever someone in the group got that word, a picture of me was displayed proudly on top of their monitor...kind of like a traveling trophy.  Chad was the lucky one at the time this pic was snapped...

So sleepy...

Just wanted to give you a quick little update...mom's recent stabbing had a silver lining:  my number is now down to 272!  I have officially cut my starting number in half, which is great news.  However, there is one minor side effect...I'm so tired!  I don't eat as many carbs as I used to, so I'm a little lazier than usual.  Not even a mouse trying to taunt me can keep my big eyes open.

Police Report

Here is the official police report from Saturday night:

There appears to be a serial stabber in the Robbinsdale area.  Another stabbing occurred at the same location as the first stabbing, around 9:30pm on Saturday evening.  The victim was only stabbed 3 times on this occasion, with all stabbings isolated in the ear area.  The stabber, coincidentally, was also stabbed once in the attack.  There are no fatalities to report.

--------------------------------

That's right.  I reported her.  This simply can't go on!  This time wasn't nearly as bad as last week, but it is still painful to think about.  I'm sure you're all curious as to what my "blood number" was this week.  Well, great news!  It dropped to 338!  Mom was so scared to look at the monitor, but when she did, she scooped me up and gave me half a bag of treats (I think we now know why I'm diabetic).  Hopefully my number continues to drop below 120...time will tell!

For now, I think I'll help myself to another treat. 

Don't mind if I do!

I've Been Shot! Manimal down!

Well, I learned a few things today about Mom.  1) She's a horrible liar.  2) She should never be employed in the medical field, as a seamstress, or do anything that involves needles.  3) She can be mean.  Let me explain...

I've been on my new diabetic diet for almost a week now, so mom thought she'd better try out this blood sugar testing thing on me sooner than later.  RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! "Don't worry", she says, "I've watched several YouTube videos on this and read the manual".  Oh good, mom.  I feel so much more relaxed knowing that you watched a 60 second video created by another amateur to learn how to stab me in the ear.  Unfortunately I'm a sucker for kitty treats and came running the minute she promised them.  Here's how it went down.  She pulled out this contraption and waved it in front of my face while telling me to "sit".  I gave it a good look...

I was like "Oh sweet, I just have to pee on that thing, right?"  Apparently that's for a different kind of test.  Mom then proceeded to uncap this device, which yielded a very sharp pointy needle.  She then put me in a choke hold and attempted to pierce my ear.  I juked to the left and then made a quick move to the right just as she hit the trigger to plunge the dagger into my ear.  It ended up getting her finger in the process and drew a tiny drop of blood.  I told her to get it checked in the diabetes machine (which she didn't find very funny).  Now she was out to get me.  She got a good grip on me and started piercing my ear again.  And again.  And again.  She got me alright, but the first 5 or 6 didn't produce any blood, so she kept at it.  I could seriously have a row of bling up and down my ears had she attached some diamond studs to that needle.  Finally, after watching yet another YouTube video, she successfully drew blood.  I couldn't even look at that monster after what she had done to me...

Now, if you remember from my last update, my latest reading was 531 at the vet. (We are shooting for under 120 eventually).  I "blew" a 549.  Not exactly the number I was looking for, but the vet told mom that certain conditions can spike the reading, like, for instance, being chased by a crazy woman with a needle.  So I'm not too bummed out about it, especially since I've only been on my new diet for 6 days and it's still mixed in with my regular food (vets orders).  She said we'll try it again in a week or so.  God help me.

I'm sure you're all wondering how potty training is going...well, in all honesty, I haven't even started yet.  Mom didn't want to rock my world too much by changing both my diet and my bathroom at the same time (what a dear).  So, I think that'll start next week once I've gotten used to the first change a bit.

That's all for now...I'm off to ignore mom some more and make her feel bad (I literally haven't gotten within 10 feet of that woman since she assaulted me).  I have a feeling she'll cave soon and give me more kitty treats.   Hey, if she can be deceitful, so can I!!

Love, your blood brother,

Chuck

House of Pain

Mom and I are pretty pathetic lately.  Mom has been sick all weekend and I got some bad news after a recent trip to the vet.  Mom told her friend Heather that I've been eating and drinking a lot more than usual (and we all know how much I like to eat).  Heather has two cats and said that is a common symptom in diabetes.  She freaked mom out enough to get me tested.  When we got to the vet, the first thing they did was weigh me.  I weighed in at 14 lbs.  Mom said "That can't be right".  She re-weighed me...yep, I lost 4 lbs since Dec. I think Mom was jealous. :)

Anyway, the celebration didn't last long.  Later that day my blood test came back...I'm positive for diabetes.  A normal score is under 120...back in Dec when I got my teeth yanked, my score was 108.  On Friday it was 531.  Meowch.  The first thing we are going to do is change my diet to a more protein-based one vs. carbs.  Mom has to monitor my blood sugar levels and keep a close eye on me.  If I get worse, I'll have to get insulin shots from her twice a day.  Neither of us want that.  I'm already fearful of the blood sugar checks.  She bought this glucometer and it appears that she is going to prick my ear to get a blood sample. Um, what?

In other news, Citikitty arrived in the mail.  To prepare me for toilet training, Mom has moved my litter box to the basement bathroom.  I hate it down there!  To show her how much it "pissed" me off, I peed in my bed (which I have never used) right in front of her.  I wish I could've taped her reaction...at first she thought I was going to snuggle up in it.  But after a few seconds of me just staring at the wall, I think she realized I wasn't just "sitting".  Her praise quickly turned into "bad kitty!".  She now has two nicknames for me... "P Diddy" and (one I think is very rude) "Diabete Kitty".

The best part of peeing right in front of her was watching her take a picture of me doing it.  She thought she was capturing a precious moment in my bed, when really I was giving her good reason to clean the rug.

This was inevitable...

Mom has made me do some crazy things in the past, but this one takes the cake...the urinal cake.

Some of Mom's lovely co-workers decided to tell her about "CitiKitty".  CitiKitty is a cat toilet training system, designed to potty train me on a human toilet.

Say what?

 Let's just say Mom thought this was hysterical and ordered it instantly.  Take a look at the video:

Ridiculous, right?  Not according to Mom.  She said "You're 8 years old; it's about time you get potty trained".  I'll show you potty trained.  Might want to check your pillow before laying your head down tonight, Ma.

I'll keep you posted when this little gem arrives.

Chuck

I got mom a present!

Mom isn't the only one that likes nice weather, so I was ecstatic when she let me come outside with her after work today. She let me out, checked to make sure all the gates were closed so I wouldn't wander away (I would if I could), and then she went back inside to clean my litter box. In the few minutes she was gone I decided to surprise her with a present. I had to work quickly and find something she would love. And then I saw it. The cute little bunny I saw her taking pictures of the other day! It was perfect! That poor little guy didn't even know what hit him, because within seconds he was hanging from my chompers. I heard the sliding glass door open so I quickly ran to greet mom with my present hanging out of my mouth. She was even more excited than I thought, because the first thing she did was scream. Hooray! I got her the best present EVER!! She wasn't quite sure what to do, so she grabbed me carefully by the neck until I dropped little Roger. Roger plopped on the ground, blinked a few times in disbelief, and then ran away. Mom said "You didn't kill him--good boy!" Well, duh...who wants a dead animal for a present?! Silly lady let him get away! I was bummed for awhile and continuously staked out where Roger was hiding, but he didn't want to play anymore. :(

Here's the present I got for mommy that she so irresponsibly let get away:

Don't worry, I'll keep 'em sharp for the next one I see:

I'm alive, don't you worry.

I apologize for not updating my blog lately.  That being said, not ONE of you showed any concern for my well-being.  It has been over 2 months since my last post...I thought I'd get at least a few "Hey Chuck, you ok man?"s or "Miss you bud--hope you're well"s. Nope.  Not a one.

So, because of my slight bitterness, you will get a somewhat uneventful post from me.  As I said, I haven't updated the blog lately.  Why you ask?  Well, I haven't had much going on.  Mom has been really busy lately with her extracurricular activities after work, so I've spent a lot of time alone with my thoughts.  Well, my thoughts and Daniel Tosh. 

Caught red-handed

Well, I think Mom has finally figured out why my weight loss has ceased...uh...and why I've been gaining weight again.  The automatic food dispenser she bought me is meant to control the portions I get twice a day...that is, unless you're smarter than the food dispenser...

Sigh.

Normally I don't post this often, but drastic times call for drastic measures...

Ok, so mom got me all excited because she told me my friend was coming over to stay with us for a few days.  Then my "friend" walked in the door.  Oh, it's YOU.

For those of you who don't know, Rudy (aka my "friend") is the dog I used to live with back when I was with my mom's friend Kiley.  She apparently is in Florida right now and left this mutt with me.  Great.

He's tolerable during the day because he is stuck in his kennel until mom gets home.  I get to walk by his jail cell with my tail held high and a smirk on my face.  I even jump on top of his kennel from time to time just to "rattle his cage"... it's fun for me.  But then it all changes when mom gets home.  She totally plays favorites, even though she'd never admit to it.  I ask her ALL THE TIME if I can go outside and play, but does she let me? Noooooooooo!  But the minute Rude-dog walks in the door, it's "Wanna go outside Rudy?"  It's so unfair!

I try my best to behave myself when mom's around...

But when she's gone the claws come out.  I think she's onto us because she has had the video camera out...I think she's trying to bust the instigator.  I claim self-defense.

Here's another pic of us being civil.  Don't be fooled by that angelic face of his...there is pure evil underneath.



The worst part is, he's cutting into my time with mom.  After work we usually snuggle on the couch for a bit, but it's hard when he's always around...he makes me uncomfortable...he's like a freakin' statue. 

So, if by chance my mom's friend is reading this, I have a message for you:  Come home and get your stupid dog.  Please and thanks.

Chuck

Next Time She'll Lose a Toe

My Weight Loss

Well she finally did it.  Mom has been threatening to take me to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned and she finally turned that threat into a promise.  I should have recognized the odd behavior and hid accordingly, but instead I just made matters worse.  Let me explain:

It all started last night around 10pm.  Mom and I were snuggling on the couch when suddenly she popped up and said "Uh oh, it's 10:00...the dentist said you can't eat after 10".  Before I knew it she was stuffing my automatic food dispenser in the front closet.  Can you believe that?  She didn't even give me my "last supper" or warn me that it was going to happen.  We went to bed around 11pm but as you probably know, I tend to eat a little midnight snack.  (Fine, and 3am snack).  I hop off the bed and quickly remembered that the old bat hid my food.  I tried my best to let my cravings pass, but after awhile I couldn't help it.  At 3am, I jumped on Mom's chest and meowed as loud as I could to wake her up.  I was successful, but I could tell she was not happy with me.  I didn't care, I was hungry.  She rolled over and ignored me, so I turned to Plan B and bit her elbow.  That did it.  She got out the spray bottle.  Just the sight of that thing makes me sprint out of the room.  Keeping a safe distance, I continued my loud rant from the living room, and then started to circle the bed when I was feeling gutsy.  The clock said 7:00 when she finally rolled out of bed.  I think I was successful at keeping her up the entire night, but I quickly wished I could take it all back when I saw her get out the leash.  So, when she jumped in the shower, I did the only thing I could think of.  I hid.

I'll admit, my first hiding spot wasn't one of my brightest ideas.  I should've known that Mom might be a little suspicious of a giant rock in the middle of her living room.

My next attempt was much more genius.  She never thinks to look up...

However, in the end she finally got me.  The dreaded harness/leash was strapped on, constricting my lungs and making it hard to breathe.  We finally get to the dentist (which I quickly realize was a lie...we were actually at the vet's office that raped me a few months ago).  Mom then says "You be good, I'll see you later" and leaves!  After that I don't remember much...they put me under while they cleaned my teeth.  I woke up later to a very sore and bloody mouth.  The dentist (aka my rapist) told me that she had to pull 2 of my teeth because the gums were really inflamed around them.  Hence, my weight loss.

I'm now on pain killers and antibiotics.  The pills are terrible...Mom thinks she's being sneaky by hiding them in cheese, but I'm no dummy.  The only good thing that came out of this was my delicious Fancy Feast dinner, a treat that I very rarely get.  Mom felt bad that I had a sore mouth, so she gave in and let me have it.  What a gem.

Although I'm now short 2 teeth, I still have a way to retaliate...my razor sharp claws.  It takes skill to draw blood through two layers of blankets.  I finally won.

A Little "Cam" for Cam

It's not often that I do shout-outs on the old video cam, but today is an exception.  My cousin, Cameron, was born early this morning around 1:30am.  I woke mom up shortly thereafter to tell her...she wasn't pleased that I woke her (again), but I could tell she was excited about the baby.  I was so excited I could barely sleep, so I woke mom up every couple hours to see if she wanted to party yet. Around 4:30am she got out the spray bottle.  Party was over.  Party pooper. 

Anyway, I made mom take a video of me.  I was a little camera shy and wasn't as vocal as I normally am, but I think I made up for it by answering some tough questions and demonstrating "lip service".  Cameron, I apologize for the snorting...I'm a very passionate kisser (in a non-incest kind of way) and sometimes I get out of control.