It all started last night around 10pm. Mom and I were snuggling on the couch when suddenly she popped up and said "Uh oh, it's 10:00...the dentist said you can't eat after 10". Before I knew it she was stuffing my automatic food dispenser in the front closet. Can you believe that? She didn't even give me my "last supper" or warn me that it was going to happen. We went to bed around 11pm but as you probably know, I tend to eat a little midnight snack. (Fine, and 3am snack). I hop off the bed and quickly remembered that the old bat hid my food. I tried my best to let my cravings pass, but after awhile I couldn't help it. At 3am, I jumped on Mom's chest and meowed as loud as I could to wake her up. I was successful, but I could tell she was not happy with me. I didn't care, I was hungry. She rolled over and ignored me, so I turned to Plan B and bit her elbow. That did it. She got out the spray bottle. Just the sight of that thing makes me sprint out of the room. Keeping a safe distance, I continued my loud rant from the living room, and then started to circle the bed when I was feeling gutsy. The clock said 7:00 when she finally rolled out of bed. I think I was successful at keeping her up the entire night, but I quickly wished I could take it all back when I saw her get out the leash. So, when she jumped in the shower, I did the only thing I could think of. I hid.
I'll admit, my first hiding spot wasn't one of my brightest ideas. I should've known that Mom might be a little suspicious of a giant rock in the middle of her living room.
My next attempt was much more genius. She never thinks to look up...
However, in the end she finally got me. The dreaded harness/leash was strapped on, constricting my lungs and making it hard to breathe. We finally get to the dentist (which I quickly realize was a lie...we were actually at the vet's office that raped me a few months ago). Mom then says "You be good, I'll see you later" and leaves! After that I don't remember much...they put me under while they cleaned my teeth. I woke up later to a very sore and bloody mouth. The dentist (aka my rapist) told me that she had to pull 2 of my teeth because the gums were really inflamed around them. Hence, my weight loss.
I'm now on pain killers and antibiotics. The pills are terrible...Mom thinks she's being sneaky by hiding them in cheese, but I'm no dummy. The only good thing that came out of this was my delicious Fancy Feast dinner, a treat that I very rarely get. Mom felt bad that I had a sore mouth, so she gave in and let me have it. What a gem.
Although I'm now short 2 teeth, I still have a way to retaliate...my razor sharp claws. It takes skill to draw blood through two layers of blankets. I finally won.
